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Work can be grueling. The word “work” inherently has negative
connotations — frequently for good reason. That’s why it’s
called “work.”
Don’t get me wrong. I enjoy hard work as much as the next guy, but
it’s important to have fun while you’re at it. The Seven Dwarfs
urge us to whistle while we work because the Seven Dwarfs understand the
importance of balance in the workplace — perhaps because they’re
European.
Fishmongers at the Pike Place Market in Seattle have become famous for
lobbing fish at their co-mongers with a joyous yell of “Fish!”
in order to create a positive esprit de corps on the job. A film of this
was shown at a workplace training I attended, suggesting we should foster
an exuberant office environment by throwing fish into the cubicles of
our coworkers.
No, I’m kidding, but because my supervisor may be reading this, I’ll
say for the record: that’s not appropriate behavior.
But by showing this film, my employer was recognizing the importance of
developing an office culture of good cheer. There are many suitable ways
of doing this that have no deleterious effects on the carpets or productivity.
One of my favorites is to call my colleagues ridiculous names: Buddy-rooski,
Turbo, Daddy-o, Ace and Sunshine, to name a few.
Try calling someone by the name of a famous person — a 49ers fan
Joe Montana or an art aficionado Roy Lichtenstein — or matching the
name of a colleague with a war criminal: Billy Milosevic, how’s that
report coming along?
The next time you’re bored at work — which is certain to be
in the near future — try calling someone Spanky or Buckwheat and
see how your day brightens. Not to mention theirs.
Warning: some people may be offended by the nickname you give them, despite
your best intentions. You will need to feel these people out and learn
from experience. Be sensitive. Your boss may not want to be called Sparky
or Scooter Pie. In these extremely rare cases, look for an appropriate
nickname, such as Boss or Hoss.
Still another manner of breaking the tedium of your labors is to talk
about what a good job you’re doing. After a successful phone call
in which you’ve resolved some prickly issue, try exclaiming over
the partitions “I take customer service very seriously. For me, customer
service doesn’t end when I clock out of work — I carry my love
of excellent customer service into my personal life, too. I enjoy providing
customer service — both on the job and off it.”
Upon resolving another problem, say “Clear communication in the workplace
is paramount. I consider it to be the very foundation of success —
the bedrock, if you will — of an excellent work product.”
One final way to cultivate happiness on the job is to use creative analogies
in your speech. Instead of saying, “That’s useless,” say,
“That’s more useless than buttocks on a chicken,” and see
how spirits pick up around you.
Don’t get the wrong impression. I’m working like a dog —
well, working reasonably hard, anyway — the entire time this banter
takes place. I’m typing an important e-mail, or proofreading an important
contract. Remember, it takes no more time to call a coworker Bubba than
it does to call him Bob.
But the rewards of mindless prattle can be a great source of amusement
to any worker, regardless of occupation. In fact, my data shows that mindless
prattle actually boosts morale, productivity and profits in the workplace.
So have at it, and enjoy yourself.
Now get back to work.
Harrison Heyl has made esprit de corps his lifelong commitment. To learn
more, contact him at h.heyl@verizon.net.
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